Poe Parodies Student Versions of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven”
The Modern-day Teenager By Maya C.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I searched weak and weary Over the fridge, disappointed, looking in the empty drawer While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, I ran and jumped up towards the door, and almost fell onto to the floor "Tis the food" I shouted, I opened the door, "I want only this and nothing more"
The Tragedy of the Poe Assignment By Anna Waite
Once upon a Monday afternoon, while I procrastinated, rather content, Though hearing voices from the screen, feeling quite alone, While I sat there, simply tapping, suddenly there came a beeping, As if someone was texting, texting me on the phone. “It’s just Instagram,” I muttered, “spamming me with the notification tone just a notification, and nothing more.”
Oh, I wish it were nothing more, as that would’ve freed me from much stress, Though when I checked the phone I saw a text, asking for my assistance. “Hey,” it read, “did you do the English homework yet?” Regret filled my mind as I realized that I didn’t do the work just this once, For if I don’t get it submitted I will seem like a dunce. Bad grades and fear for evermore.
Koen Plath Perspective of a servant of the speaker in the original Title: Looking In On a Raven
Once upon a midnight dreary as I walked through these endless, darkened, eerie halls I finally saw my master’s massive chamber door The man had become saddened and secluded as of late Due to the horrific death of his lover, his poor… I mustn’t say the once lively woman’s name as it would shake my master to his core But then again, he’d want to remember his sweet Lenore
I neared the entrance to my master door as my taps on the ebony echoed throughout the halls As I took a step back I herd sorrowful, almost drunken groans, tis only my master and nothing more When the doors opened my light was killed as I was engulfed in the darkness of night My master approached me as he looked drunken, tired, and sore But I remained silent when I heard who his raspy voice called for He spoke and called for his sweet Lenore.
I was paralyzed, still as stone, my master is intoxicated completely as he trudged back to his quarters But I was cast from my thoughts as I heard the slamming of a large chamber door I ran to the door only to hear my master begging someone for piece of mind I cracked open the chamber door to see who my master would implore He was yelling and begging to a raven for peace as his lifeless body hit the floor I rushed to his body as the raven disappeared into the shadows and my master’s last words were I’ll see you soon my sweet Lenore.
The Force By Jon Supple Once apon a galactic ferry, While I pondered strong and fiercely Over the thought of fighting the dark side of the force I went to a foggy land with many swamps that were very grand To see Yoda who was very wise but something was wrong his voice was hoarse As he lay there on his death bed he said don’t worry this is only life taking its course Then as he faded away Luke had to go and save the day as he flew he dropped the bombs and killed the dark source.
Netflix Browsing By Sabrina Golich
Once upon a Netflix browsing While I scrolled, nearly napping It seemed like hours passed, passing shows I’ve already watched The same three movie genres overlapping It seems like I might just go back to cable TV mapping I grapple through either or, this or that, I realize Netflix is seriously slacking I can’t rewatch a series or a film, it’ll just be an endless recapping.
I don’t want to watch another ten seasons of Friends And I can’t sit through another 40 minutes of the Flash All my hopes and dreams of a happy Saturday night show binging Have dived deeply right into the trash The idea of simply finding a new movie or show has crashed The way you flaunt those “new” flicks that I’ve already watched has taken me abash.
Netflix, oh Netflix, it seems my problems start with you I’d rather spend my time reading lore One or two Poe works will do This endless series of browsing is a bore It seems to be making me snore This endless time of Netflix browsing is an everlasting chore.