Are Hot Dogs Sandwiches? Written by Anna Waite Edited by Jack Kelly
This week at the Suncoast Polytechnical high-school, I've taken the liberty of investigating one of the most ancient, pondered upon, age-old questions: are hot dogs sandwiches? Though hot dogs have been shown to share every characteristic that sandwiches have traditionally been associated with, many people still disagree. I've interviewed many students and faculty members around the school to get their opinions on the subject. I will be addressing both sides of the argument to finally answer this question for the ages.
Many people argue that a hotdog is not a sandwich due to it not having two slices of bread, but this can be easily countered by the Merriam-Webster definition. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a sandwich is "two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between." It is irrefutable that this is exactly what a hot dog is. Others argue that it isn't a sandwich because if it were, you'd hear people referring to it as a sandwich. However, I like to think of the term "sandwich" as a category. One would more commonly hear someone calling a square a square then they would hear it being referred to as a quadrilateral, though it is undeniably a quadrilateral. I've interviewed some of the 9th-grade staff and administrators to get adult's opinions on the topic. When asking Mr. Turgeon, he gave a simple "no" and went on with his duties. When asked the million-dollar question, Ms. Plowman made a shocked expression and stated that they aren’t sandwiches. Ms. Richardson flipped the question on its head and presented a completely different idea: "No, they're sausages." Though hot dogs are technically a type of sausage, this doesn't rule out the possibility of them being sandwiches. One could put a piece of sausage between two pieces of bread, but based on the textbook definition of "sandwich", the same ideas would apply. The only teachers who believe that hot dogs are in fact sandwiches are Mrs. Fulgieri, who confidently stated that she agreed with all of my points, and Mrs. Fuller, who simply said she believed that they were sandwiches.
The one thing keeping the rest of the world from believing that hot dogs are sandwiches is a statement made by the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council. (Yes, that is a real thing. No, I'm not joking.) According to an official press release from them, they stated that: "Our verdict is…a hot dog is an exclamation of joy, a food, a verb describing one 'showing off' and even an emoji. It is truly a category unto its own". NHDSC president and 'Queen of Wien' Janet Riley says in the release: "Limiting the hot dog's significance by saying it's 'just a sandwich' is like calling the Dalai Lama 'just a guy.' Perhaps at one time its importance could be limited by forcing it into a larger sandwich category (no disrespect to Reubens and others), but that time has passed. We therefore choose to take a cue from a great performer and declare our namesake be a 'hot dog formerly known as a sandwich,'" she continues. I find this statement to be wildly frustrating. Their point regarding the Dalai Lama doesn't work, as though he is metaphorically more than "just a guy," he is still a guy. Though some consider a hot dog to be a sacred summer treat that's more than "just a sandwich," it's still a sandwich.
All in all, hot dogs are not sandwiches. However, I'll always consider them to be sandwiches in my heart. Though the Hot Dog and Sausage Council politely disagree, I believe that all the evidence is there to form an informed opinion on the subject. Whether you agree that hot dogs are sandwiches or not, I think we can all agree that lasagna is better anyway.